


Perfect Echo

by MrsSarabiHolmes



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Drama, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29620695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsSarabiHolmes/pseuds/MrsSarabiHolmes
Summary: Charles is in depression following the loss of both Erik and his motricity. He takes drugs to suppress his powers, which enable him to walk again. But Erik's always on his mind. The very one who broke his heart by abandoning him to his grim fate. Until one day, Erik comes back just like Charles wishes. He explains everything, including his reasons to leave, and apologizes. As Charles begs him to stay, they begin anew. This time, together. Their feelings for each other are confessed, and everything seems to be going well. Or is it? That's what Charles thought... until Erik walks out the door and never comes back again. Is it truly goodbye or a new beginning?
Relationships: Charles/Erik, Cherik, Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Raven | Mystique, Erik/Charles - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Perfect Echo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, folks!
> 
> So, Cherik is one of my oldest ships ever and I realized that on Archive, I had NO fanfic of them. WHAT THE HELL?! So, of course, I decided to remedy to that. ;) Bingo! 
> 
> Please note, and this is VERY IMPORTANT: this is set when Charles is in depression, at the beginning of the second movie where they're young. Plus, expect a lot of feels, both good and gnnnn (so fluff and angst, okay?). I am excited about this fic and I hope you'll stay for the whole ride because... well, let's just say the ending is worth it. ;) 
> 
> Moreover, don't forget to leave comments, kudos, bookmark the fic, or subscribe to it to show your love! It makes me: a) write faster b) ensures I keep writing it c) damn well flattered and happy :D
> 
> Now, you can read and feel all the feels! :D
> 
> Enjoy!

_Drugged. Clinically depressed. Paralyzed._

That’s what I’ve been reduced to. After we met, after I saved him, after I gave him a home, a purpose, and my friendship, after we formed a group of mutants, after we helped the world together, and after he paralyzed me… Erik abandoned me to my awful new reality and broken heart. It’s as cold, painful, and shattering with emotions as it could be. Yet, he’s not here to help me through this. He left. He’s happy and leading his own revolution… away from me.

_I’m forgotten. Unwanted. Useless._

He never saw how much he means to me. How badly I want him close. How I yearn for his heart like he has mine. And if he did see it, that’s probably part of the reasons why he left, all things considered… Society isn’t kind to gays. Neither to disabled. Joke’s on me on both issues, I guess.

I sigh and grab the single lamp in the corridor. It’s disgusting, with its ugly and old-fashioned beige tassels, and its orange colour. I snarl at it. This is one of the rare moments I leave my room nowadays. I do so to watch the main, closed door in case Erik gets back… What a mistake! My whole life is a mistake. He left with Raven… I clench my teeth and throw the small lamp at arm’s length, and revel as it shatters on the door. Always closed, like my state of mind. I take a deep breath, rake my hand through my dirty long hair, and walk to my room.

That bullet paralyzed me, but thanks to Hank, the only one who stayed by my side after the disaster, I have a drug to inject in my veins. It enables me to walk… and suppresses most of my psychic abilities. The cost might be high, but in truth, I got nothing left to lose.

It’s all gone.

I glare at the upside-down room as I drag my feet beyond the threshold. It’s messy, books are thrown opened all over the floor and desk, with clothes hanging about; it’s smelly, with a pungent stench of dirt and acrid despair in the air; and ugly, now that there’s disorder and plates of half-eaten food and half-drunk glasses all over the place. In other words: it’s another representation of me now. I roll my eyes and swear under my breath. I break a path through the mess, grab a syringe and let my stupid body drop on the worn couch. Soon, no more thoughts, no more powers, no more pain… at least for a while.

_I guess I’m meant to suffer._

Days and nights blur together, and honestly, I don’t care. I want to be numb. I _crave_ numbness. Maybe the pain will be frozen, and it will stop destroying me, layer by layer until my heart surrenders… Maybe my mistakes will stop haunting me. What a dream! I’m pitiful and desperate, but I wish Erik to come back. I wish for his explanations. For his love.

I tighten the elastic around my arm and inject the liquid in my veins. Then, I close my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek as I swing the syringe away after use. But I can’t help it: new fresh tears pour down my face as my heart slams painfully against my chest. Ashamed, I’m listening for footsteps I know will never come…

_Where are you, Erik?_

I wish for a different turn of events. A better life. Something I nearly got in the past, but that stayed just out of reach, at the tips of my fingers. Before it wrenched itself away from me, ever receding…

_Erik, I’m waiting for you. Come home, my friend._

That single thought explodes in my head before my powers are trapped again. I’ve lost all of my control, but I don’t want it back. It’s overwhelming, treacherous. My powers constantly remind me of my failures in… well, _everything_. But most of all, they remind me of our _connection_ , of our friendship, of everything I am with and what I am not without Erik. My eyelids flutter, but I don’t open my eyes. Instead, I sigh as I focus on my fading psychic sense and abilities. Yes, it’s going away, subsiding… And I’m free. For a while. For a few lies. I’m not happy, not really.

But I guess I’m _stable_ in my brokenness and somewhat satisfied. Why not lose myself too in all this mess?

_If only you were here, Erik… Would you come back to help me? Would you do this for me?_

I gulp, but as soon as I put my hand over my mouth, sobs break out from my chest. They are ragged, hopeless. And I shut my eyes close harder, but the tears still flow.

_How many lies can I tell myself before I understand you’ll never come back for me. Ever. Erik._

I shake my head, body racked with pain and sobs. I’m ready to lose myself again. Please, make me lose myself again in unconsciousness.

_Those lies are tempting. At least you're always with me in them. You always come back._

You’re not here and I know it. But I don’t want to see reality. My mind’s all I have left. My aching feelings are screaming out for you and my thoughts of you are the only thing keeping me alive. My ragged breathing calms down gradually, and the tears dry, until I can lower my hand to my side. Still, I think of us, of you. If only the lie was my reality. Its song is beautiful, entrancing…

_Where are you, Erik?_


End file.
